I am dedicating my first blog entry to my parents....more so my father.

So for the last couple years my parents haven't been as "close" as they probably should be. They argue and fight all of the time, but isn't that expected with a married couple? I guess it's more along the lines of what they fight about. My mother bowls every Wednesday night on a women's league at the local bowling alley. Most nights after she's done bowling, her and her teamates and other women from her bowling league like to go out to one of the bars in town. My mom is not one of those addicted to bars. She only goes once a week. But my dad has a slight problem with it....well actually a BIG problem with it. He seems to think that going out to a bar once a week is inappropriate. He also has this crazy idea that my mom is cheating on him. Which I think is bogus. I have been to the bar with my mom before and she doesn't do anything except for dance to the music with her girl friends and sing karioke. I don't know how many nights I have been woke up to them yelling at each other about her not arriving home until 2 or 3am. It is always the same agruement.

Another issue is the fact that I will be 20 years old in a week and a day. My dad still treats me like I am a kid tho. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that I am the only girl and I am the oldest of three. He also never had any sisters to be around at this age either. So he gets all pissy when I don't come home until 3 or 4 in the morning. Also, I'm not doing anything that should worry him either. I have either been out to a bowling alley with my fiance' who bowls three to four days out of the week. Or I am just simply at his house. I'm not out partying or doing anything illegal when I'm not at home. But he will NOT say a word to me. He will only yell at my mother for me being out so late and then in turn, my mom will tell me about it and tell me to try and be home early so he will not yell at her. Yet when my fiance' is not bowling he is working and usually when he works he doesn't get off until later in the evening. So I like to spend time with him when he gets off of work.

So now you're probably wondering where the rolemodel part comes in??
Well here it goes....
Last night it came to my knowledge that my father smokes weed. My brother who is 16, was the one to tell me. I can always tell when my brother is lying, and this time he was not. He said that my uncle, who also smokes weed, told him the other day. Telling him that if my dad is acting weird it's because he is most likely high. I proceeded to ask my brother if he knew why my dad was choosing to smoke weed. He told me that my uncle said my dad stops out at his house every now and then to buy the weed off of him, saying that he needs to smoke it to get away from the fear that my mother is going to cheat on him or leave him. And basically to get rid of all his "problems". But that's just it. My dad thinks that he's the only one in the world with "problems". Like the world is out to get him or something. He is so totally wrong. How does he think my mom feels when he accuses her of cheating on him? How does he think I feel when he treats me like the little kid that I am not? How would he feel if my brother and I knew he was smoking weed? What really pisses me off is that he thinks he is such a good parent and a good rolemodel for his children! But smoking weed......I don't really think that's showing a good example. Anybody else? And to add to all this....whenever my dad does make an effort to talk to me about something, he can't have a simple conversation. He always yells at me whenever he talks to me. I don't really think I've done anything to deserve to be yelled at constantly.

I just can't wait for the day he royaly pisses me off. Then the weed smoking will no longer be a secret. I will probably get kicked out of my house. My dad will hate me. And my poor mom, I don't know what she'll do.....